Ew. Just. Stop. For the sake of all that is good in the world, just stop.

Okay, so anyone who was on a week or so ago remembers trolling this one person on dA. If not, this is what you missed out on:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Try not to vomit yet, OK?

Anyway, apparently this fool decided to write Happy Tree Friends "fan-episodes", in other words, equally shitty fanfics.

I literally couldn't get past the first paragraph without feeling sick. Seriously:

Fail-ass noob on dA wrote:

One night, servan was walking with his prized pet, circuit. until they heard a scream and it came from over there. it was a dead tiger soldier, and it was pierced by many red quils. servan chuckled evilly.

Servan: so. looks like the little porcupine girl has a dark side now. *laughing evilly*

as servan and circuit walks away, a shadowy figure went off with the body and disappeared.

Okay, let's see what all's wrong with this.
For one, you don't switch between normal story-telling style and script-writing style like that. It just isn't done.
Secondly, at least have the decency to capitalize proper nouns such as names.
Thirdly, you can't use a pronoun ("over there") without identifying the noun it replaces. Where the hell is the scream coming from?
Fourthly, stay with one form of tense, be it past or present. Literally in that last sentence they switch from present tense to past tense in the same fucking sentence.

There's a shitload more wrong with this, but I don't feel like reading that shit again to pick it out.





...
You can vomit now.

DID YOU READ MY IMMORTAL OR NO?

Actually no.
I read a bit, though, and something tells me that this person's been taking writing tips from them. ~shot'd~