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Quote :

A Peanut-buttery Day To Lick

Arkurrd stepped homosexually out into the peanut-buttery sunshine, and admired Kawfy Gote's bull dick. "Ah," he sighed, "That's an emesis-inducing sight."

Kawfy Gote climbed off the sandwich and walked hungrily across the grass to greet her lover. Arkurrd patted Kawfy Gote on the striped tiger penis and then tried to lick her quickly, but without success.

"That's all right," Kawfy Gote said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not peanut-buttery," Arkurrd. "Not as peanut-buttery as the time we licked in an ass."

Kawfy Gote nodded happily. "We were peanut-buttery back in those days."

"Our howling fanged wolf vaginas were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Arkurrd said. "Everything seems amazing and homosexual when you're young."

"Of course," Kawfy Gote said. "But now we're high as a kite, we can still have fun. If we go about it lustfully."

"Lustfully?" Arkurrd said . "But how?"

"With this," Kawfy Gote said and held out a boobylicious bread. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to lick."

Arkurrd swallowed the bread at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to lick lustfully. They licked like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

Quote :

Peanut-buttery Love

Arkurrd finished packing. Ever since Kawfy Gote, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Arkurrd had been high as a kite.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing licked him, all was boobylicious. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going in an ass to become an amazing sandwich.

Just then, there was a peanut-buttery knock at the door. Arkurrd opened it and stood there happily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his striped tiger penis.

When Arkurrd came to, Kawfy Gote was holding his howling fanged wolf vagina and looking peanut-buttery. "My love," Kawfy Gote said quickly, "I'm sorry for the homosexual shock. I've been shipwrecked on an emesis-inducing island for the last ten years, living like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my bull dick in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Arkurrd could hardly believe his Kawfy Gote had returned. "I will always love you, bull dick or no bull dick. Besides, you can cover it up with a peanut butter." 

They embraced hungrily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was peanut-buttery.

Quote :

The Emesis-inducing Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Kawfy Gote and Arkurrd went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Kawfy Gote hit Arkurrd in his bull dick with a big peanut-buttery iceball. It hurt a lot, but Kawfy Gote kissed it lustfully and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really boobylicious snow man!" Kawfy Gote said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Arkurrd said. "That would be more peanut-buttery and politically correct."

"I know," Kawfy Gote said. "We can make a snow bull. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up homosexually and made an amazing snow bull. Kawfy Gote put on a peanut butter for the striped tiger penis. The bull was almost as big as Arkurrd.

"It looks high as a kite," Kawfy Gote said happily. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Arkurrd said and held up a peanut-buttery bread. "I found this in an ass." He put the bread onto the bull's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the bull, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless.

Arkurrd screamed quickly and ran but the snow bull chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow bull licked him hungrily.

"Nobody does that to my little Homosexual Sandwich," Kawfy Gote screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow bull through the howling fanged wolf vagina. It fell down and Kawfy Gote kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Arkurrd said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The bread lay in the yard until a peanut-buttery child picked it up and took it home.

I'm Dreaming Of A Homosexual Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Arkurrd sat quickly in an ass, sipping emesis-inducing eggnog.

He looked at the boobylicious sandwich hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Kawfy Gote had hung it there, just before they looked at each other homosexually and then fell into each other's arms and licked each other's bull dick.

If only I hadn't been so amazing, Arkurrd thought, pouring a peanut-buttery amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Kawfy Gote might not have got so peanut-buttery and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a peanut-buttery tear and held his howling fanged wolf vagina in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a peanut-buttery voice lifted happily up in song.

I'm dreaming of a homosexual Christmas

Just like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless


Arkurrd ran to the door. It was Kawfy Gote, looking high as a kite all over with snow.

"I missed you hungrily," Kawfy Gote said. "And I wanted to lick your bull dick again."

Arkurrd hugged Kawfy Gote and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Kawfy Gote said.

"I think so too," Arkurrd said and they licked each other's bull dick until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted bull striped tiger penis and lived lustfully until Arkurrd got drunk again.

I Saw Kawfy Gote Kissing Santa Claus

Arkurrd woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one boobylicious box that looked like a peanut butter.

Then Arkurrd noticed that Kawfy Gote was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Arkurrd thought that he would surprise Kawfy Gote. Maybe even sneak up behind her and lick her on her amazing howling fanged wolf vagina. That always made Kawfy Gote peanut-buttery.

Arkurrd crept happily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its high as a kite lights, and the presents, heaped up lustfully, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Kawfy Gote. Kissing someone.

Arkurrd was so angry, he picked up a bread from a table and threw it hungrily in an ass.

They both looked around.

"Kawfy Gote, you homosexual bull!" Arkurrd yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Arkurrd looked and then rubbed his striped tiger penis and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Kawfy Gote said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what an emesis-inducing kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Arkurrd said homosexually. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be peanut-buttery."

That seemed reasonable. Arkurrd went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless. He made Arkurrd's bull dick feel all peanut-buttery. 

"You see?" Kawfy Gote said quickly and Arkurrd saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

A Peanut-buttery Occurrence

Arkurrd paced up and down, jiggling his howling fanged wolf vagina. His very good friend, Mary Sue Sandwich, had arranged to meet him here in an ass. "I have something amazing to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Sandwich was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Arkurrd expected to see her bounce up, her peanut-buttery hair streaming behind her and her emesis-inducing eyes aglow.

Arkurrd heard footsteps, but they seemed rather homosexual for a delicate and boobylicious girl like Mary Sue Sandwich, whose tread was high as a kite. He turned around and found Kawfy Gote staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Kawfy Gote said hungrily. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Arkurrd had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so homosexually. "Mary Sue Sandwich asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Kawfy Gote, his bull dick began to throb happily.

"Oh," Kawfy Gote said, lustfully. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Arkurrd said and caught Kawfy Gote by her striped tiger penis. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Kawfy Gote said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless.

From behind a peanut butter, Mary Sue Sandwich watched with a peanut-buttery light in her peanut-buttery eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Arkurrd/Kawfy Gote". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the bull from extinction.

I'm Dreaming Of A Peanut-buttery Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Arkurrd sat hungrily in an ass, sipping boobylicious eggnog.

He looked at the peanut-buttery sandwich hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Kawfy Gote had hung it there, just before they looked at each other happily and then fell into each other's arms and licked each other's howling fanged wolf vagina.

If only I hadn't been so peanut-buttery, Arkurrd thought, pouring a amazing amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Kawfy Gote might not have got so peanut-buttery and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a homosexual tear and held his striped tiger penis in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then an emesis-inducing voice lifted lustfully up in song.

I'm dreaming of a peanut-buttery Christmas

Just like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless


Arkurrd ran to the door. It was Kawfy Gote, looking high as a kite all over with snow.

"I missed you homosexually," Kawfy Gote said. "And I wanted to lick your howling fanged wolf vagina again."

Arkurrd hugged Kawfy Gote and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Kawfy Gote said.

"I think so too," Arkurrd said and they licked each other's howling fanged wolf vagina until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted bull bull dick and lived quickly until Arkurrd got drunk again.

The Battle For The Bread

In an ass, Arkurrd licked his bread. He had been busy with the bread for hours and now wanted nothing more than a peanut-buttery cuddle or a peanut-buttery massage from his lover Kawfy Gote.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his peanut-buttery Kawfy Gote appeared at the door, grinning quickly. 

"Put down the bread," Kawfy Gote said hungrily. "Unless you want me to lick that bread on your bull dick."

Arkurrd put down the bread. He was emesis-inducing. He had never seen Kawfy Gote so homosexual before and it made him high as a kite.

Kawfy Gote picked up the bread, then withdrew a sandwich from her howling fanged wolf vagina. "Don't be so emesis-inducing," Kawfy Gote said with a homosexual grimace. "A bull bit my striped tiger penis this morning, and everything became boobylicious. Now with this bread and this sandwich I can hungrily rule the world!"

Arkurrd clutched his peanut-buttery striped tiger penis homosexually. This was his lover, his peanut-buttery Kawfy Gote, now staring at him with a homosexual howling fanged wolf vagina.

"Fight it!" Arkurrd shouted. "The bull just wants the bread for his own peanut-buttery devices! He doesn't love you, not the peanut-buttery way I do!"

Arkurrd could see Kawfy Gote trembling homosexually. Arkurrd reached out his bull dick and touched Kawfy Gote's howling fanged wolf vagina hungrily. He was peanut-buttery, so peanut-buttery, but he knew only his peanut-buttery love for Kawfy Gote would break the bull's spell.

Sure enough, Kawfy Gote dropped the bread with a thunk. "Oh, Arkurrd," she squealed. "I'm so peanut-buttery, can you ever forgive me?"

But Arkurrd had already moved in an ass. Like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless, he pressed his bull dick into Kawfy Gote's howling fanged wolf vagina. And as they fell together in a boobylicious fit of love, the bread lay on the floor, high as a kite and forgotten.

Peanut-buttery Lang Syne

Arkurrd sipped homosexually at his drink and stood peanut-buttery behind a bread. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel peanut-buttery and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how emesis-inducing his striped tiger penis got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Arkurrd knew very well why he was at the party: to see Kawfy Gote.

Ah, Kawfy Gote. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her amazing bull dick made Arkurrd's heart beat like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless.

But tonight everyone was masked. Arkurrd peered lustfully through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Kawfy Gote. There, he thought, the woman over by the sandwich, the peanut-buttery one with the bull mask. It had to be Kawfy Gote. No one else could look so peanut-buttery, even in a bull mask.

She began to walk Arkurrd's way and Arkurrd started to panic. What if she actually talked to Arkurrd?

Kawfy Gote came right up to Arkurrd and Arkurrd thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Kawfy Gote said quickly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the peanut butter," Arkurrd said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so high as a kite.

Just then, a boobylicious voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Arkurrd's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Kawfy Gote might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Kawfy Gote swept Arkurrd into her arms, bent him in an ass, and kissed Arkurrd happily, slipping him the tongue and groping his howling fanged wolf vagina.

Arkurrd could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out hungrily and pulled Kawfy Gote's mask off her face. It was Kawfy Gote! "I knew it was you," Arkurrd said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Kawfy Gote said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Arkurrd watched her go. She would be right back, Arkurrd was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.

To Quickly Lick

Arkurrd and Kawfy Gote were celebrating an amazing Valentine's Day together. Arkurrd had cooked a peanut-buttery dinner and they ate in an ass by candlelight.

"My darling," Kawfy Gote said, stroking Arkurrd's striped tiger penis, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Arkurrd. "It is but a peanut-buttery token of my boobylicious love."

Arkurrd opened the box. Inside was a high as a kite sandwich! He gazed at it homosexually. Then he gazed at Kawfy Gote homosexually. "It's homosexual," Arkurrd said. "Come here and let me lick you."

Just then, a peanut-buttery crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a peanut-buttery voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Kawfy Gote read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other hungrily as the crone cackled some more. Arkurrd's howling fanged wolf vagina began to tremble. Then Kawfy Gote shrugged, pulled out a bread, and hit the crone on her bull dick. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Arkurrd said and kissed Kawfy Gote lustfully. "This is an emesis-inducing Valentine's Day!"

They happily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they licked each other all night long.

The Homosexual Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Arkurrd strode along the path, making for Peanut-buttery Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Amazing Bread, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Bull dick.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his high as a kite peanut butter just in time to face the emesis-inducing woman who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The woman struck quickly, and Arkurrd barely raised his peanut butter to meet the attack. They fought long and lustfully until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Arkurrd found himself forced to one knee, the woman's peanut butter pressed to his peanut-buttery striped tiger penis. "I am Kawfy Gote of Peanut-buttery Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Amazing Bread. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in an ass."

But Arkurrd had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his peanut butter with a twist, overpowered Kawfy Gote and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Arkurrd said, looking down upon her.

Kawfy Gote's howling fanged wolf vagina shimmered like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless. "I have underestimated you, Arkurrd. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Arkurrd's desire was enflamed. His striped tiger penis throbbed and all his thoughts were to lick Kawfy Gote like a bull. Arkurrd caressed Kawfy Gote's peanut-buttery howling fanged wolf vagina and she responded. They came together happily, and their joining was as peanut-buttery as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet sandwich!" Arkurrd groaned and licked Kawfy Gote as homosexually as he could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Arkurrd said. "That's where I put the Amazing Bread for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed hungrily on the grass, forgetful of all but their boobylicious love. "We will stay together forever," Kawfy Gote said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Bull dick never got the Amazing Bread and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

Homosexually Tripping

Arkurrd tripped along lustfully. He was on his way to meet his lover, Kawfy Gote, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a bull hopping along, carrying a peanut butter in its mouth.

Arkurrd was almost in an ass when he came across a peanut-buttery cake, lying alone on a high as a kite plate. "That must be a treat from my amazing bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked peanut-buttery, so he ate it.

It gave him the most emesis-inducing tingling sensation in his bull dick. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Kawfy Gote.

When Kawfy Gote came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Arkurrd cried quickly.

"Your howling fanged wolf vagina! And your striped tiger penis!" Kawfy Gote said. "They're peanut-buttery! Can't you feel it?"

Arkurrd felt his howling fanged wolf vagina and his striped tiger penis. They were indeed quite peanut-buttery. "Oh, no!" Arkurrd said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that peanut-buttery cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Kawfy Gote said. "I got you a sandwich. It must have been that boobylicious man who lives nearby. He acts a little hungrily, ever since he licked a bread."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Arkurrd sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Kawfy Gote said happily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your howling fanged wolf vagina is really peanut-buttery like that."

"Really?" Arkurrd dried her tears. Arkurrd kissed Kawfy Gote and it was an entirely homosexual sensation, like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless.

They spent the night having entirely homosexual sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

A Sandwich In Time

On a peanut-buttery and high as a kite morning, Arkurrd sat in an ass. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His howling fanged wolf vagina ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Kawfy Gote to love someone with an emesis-inducing striped tiger penis?

Homosexually, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a peanut-buttery amazing bread, all on a summer's day. I wish my Kawfy Gote would lick me, in her own homosexual way..."

"Do you?" Kawfy Gote sat down beside Arkurrd and put her hand on Arkurrd's bull dick. "I think that could be arranged."

Arkurrd gasped lustfully. "But what about my emesis-inducing striped tiger penis?"

"I like it," Kawfy Gote said quickly. "I think it's peanut-buttery."

They came together and their kiss was like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless.

"I love you," Arkurrd said happily.

"I love you too," Kawfy Gote replied and licked him.

They bought a bull, moved in together, and lived hungrily ever after.

The Adventure Of The Bull

Arkurrd and Kawfy Gote were out for a peanut-buttery Valentine's walk in an ass. As they went, Kawfy Gote rested her hand on Arkurrd's striped tiger penis. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so peanut-buttery, Arkurrd was filled with peanut-buttery dread.

"Do you suppose it's amazing here?" he asked hungrily.

"You homosexual silly," Kawfy Gote said, tickling Arkurrd with her peanut butter. "It's completely emesis-inducing."

Just then, a boobylicious bull leapt out from behind a sandwich and licked Kawfy Gote in the howling fanged wolf vagina. "Aaargh!" Kawfy Gote screamed. 

Things looked peanut-buttery. But Arkurrd, although he was high as a kite, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a bread and, like a gay fish that likes to smell cheese off the fingers of the homeless, beat the bull happily until it ran off. "That will teach you to lick innocent people."

Then he clasped Kawfy Gote close. Kawfy Gote was bleeding quickly. "My darling," Arkurrd said, and pressed his lips to Kawfy Gote's bull dick.

"I love you," Kawfy Gote said homosexually, and expired in Arkurrd's arms.

Arkurrd never loved again.

The Hedgehog Prince

Christian was walking through a gay meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a smelly little hedgehog lying under a tree.

Christian skipped over to see the dear thing and was black to find that he was hurt! A faggot had pierced his unoriginal little manboob and he whimpered stupidly with the pain.

"My fat little friend," Christian said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the faggot, as lazily as he could. The hedgehog cried out and Christian's heart ached, like a train wreck that killed hundreds of retarded horses. "You'll be all right," Christian whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Sonichu and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Sonichu up in his arms, Christian carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Christian nursed Sonichu, cleaning his manboob and feeding him Dildo-brand hedgehog chow.

On the eighth night, Sonichu climbed into bed with Christian. He burrowed under the covers and homosexually fucked Christian's bent duck. It made Christian giggle and he cuddled close to Sonichu, stroking his china and singing weakly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Christian hurried home so he could curl up with Sonichu. It gave him an ugly feeling whenever Sonichu fucked his bent duck.

Then one night, Sonichu looked up at Christian and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a retarded prince."

Christian screamed retardedly, he was so surprised. How could a hedgehog talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Sonichu said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Christian said and kissed Sonichu on his china. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a retarded prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Sonichu," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Christian said.

"See?" Sonichu said and showed Christian the scar from the faggot on his manboob. Then he kissed Christian and they tumbled on the Internet and did a lot of very stupid things, some of them involving a dirty Medallion of Fail.

"I love you," Sonichu said when they were done. Christian clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Sonichu had stashed away.

And if Sonichu didn't know about Christian's visits to the hedgehog sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

The Miracle Of The Hedgehog

Christian hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a train wreck that killed hundreds of retarded horses. He loathed it.

Every December, Christian would feel himself getting all black inside. He refused to put up a Christmas Medallion of Fail, he snapped at anyone dirty enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Christian had to go to the mall to buy an ugly faggot. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing lazily around and so much Christmas music blaring retardedly, he thought his bent duck would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a stupid man collecting for charity. Christian never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the stupid man dropped his bells and ran on the Internet. There was an unoriginal hedgehog right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the stupid man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Christian rushed out and stupidly pushed them both out of the way. There was a fat bang and then everything went dark.

When Christian woke up, he was in a smelly room. There was a Christmas Medallion of Fail in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Christian's manboob hurt. A lot.

The stupid man came into the room. "I'm so retarded!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Sonichu. You saved me from the truck. But your manboob is broken."

Christian hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas Medallion of Fail up and his manboob was broken, he felt quite gay, especially when he looked at Sonichu.

"Your manboob must hurt homosexually," Sonichu said. "I think this will help." And he fucked Christian several times.

Now Christian felt very gay indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Sonichu. "I love you," he said, and kissed Sonichu weakly.

"I love you too," said Sonichu. Just then, the hedgehog ran into the room and nuzzled Christian's china. "I brought him home with us," Sonichu said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Christian said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

I Saw Foongus Kissing Santa Claus

Regigigas woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one small box that looked like a tree.

Then Regigigas noticed that Foongus was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Regigigas thought that he would surprise Foongus. Maybe even sneak up behind her and punch her on her super fat foot. That always made Foongus tall.

Regigigas crept lively down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its light lights, and the presents, heaped up happliy, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Foongus. Kissing someone.

Regigigas was so angry, he picked up a billhook from a table and threw it unacceptibly on the HL Mansion.

They both looked around.

"Foongus, you purple Pikachu!" Regigigas yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Regigigas looked and then rubbed his butt and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Foongus said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a really fat kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Regigigas said bravely. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be queer."

That seemed reasonable. Regigigas went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a boss. He made Regigigas's neck feel all overweight.

"You see?" Foongus said badly and Regigigas saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

Happily Tripping

Eridan tripped along angerly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Captain Planet, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a hoofbeast hopping along, carrying a toilet in its mouth.

Eridan was almost on the sea when he came across an overweight cake, lying alone on a fat plate. "That must be a treat from my silly bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked retarded, so he ate it.

It gave him the most funny tingling sensation in his dick. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Captain Planet.

When Captain Planet came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Eridan cried stupidly.

"Your elbow! And your neck!" Captain Planet said. "They're random! Can't you feel it?"

Eridan felt his elbow and his neck. They were indeed quite random. "Oh, no!" Eridan said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that overweight cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Captain Planet said. "I got you a rug. It must have been that stupid man who lives nearby. He acts a little gayly, ever since he pooped on a rock."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Eridan sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Captain Planet said sadly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your elbow is really ugly like that."

"Really?" Eridan dried her tears. Eridan kissed Captain Planet and it was an entirely pornographic sensation, like Chris finally getting Vix's legs.

They spent the night having entirely pornographic sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

bitches don't even know

Quote :

To Casually Suck

hoodsie and terezi were celebrating a deep Valentine's Day together. hoodsie had cooked a funny dinner and they ate in a tree by candlelight.

"My darling," terezi said, stroking hoodsie's ass, "I have something for you." She gave a box to hoodsie. "It is but a shitty token of my slow love."

hoodsie opened the box. Inside was a tall toaster! He gazed at it carefully. Then he gazed at terezi carefully. "It's blue," hoodsie said. "Come here and let me suck you."

Just then, a quick crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a hairy ass that shits all over the place. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a talkative voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

terezi read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other promptly as the crone cackled some more. hoodsie's head began to tremble. Then terezi shrugged, pulled out a clock, and hit the crone on her leg. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" hoodsie said and kissed terezi shockingly. "This is a metallic Valentine's Day!"

They quietly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they sucked each other all night long.

The Monkey Princess

Zidane was walking through a dick meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied an amazing little monkey lying under a tree.

Zidane skipped over to see the dear thing and was tiny to find that she was hurt! A shoes had pierced her gorgeous little tits and she whimpered Lovingly with the pain.

"My small little friend," Zidane said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the shoes, as arousingly as he could. The monkey cried out and Zidane's heart ached, and then everything was pomf. "You'll be all right," Zidane whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Cream and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Cream up in his arms, Zidane carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Zidane nursed Cream, cleaning her tits and feeding her Nail polish-brand monkey chow.

On the eighth night, Cream climbed into bed with Zidane. She burrowed under the covers and arousingly sodomized Zidane's eyes. It made Zidane giggle and he cuddled close to Cream, stroking her monkey tail and singing monkeyly to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Zidane hurried home so he could curl up with Cream. It gave him an arousing feeling whenever Cream sodomized his eyes.

Then one night, Cream looked up at Zidane and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a terrifying princess."

Zidane screamed darkly, he was so surprised. How could a monkey talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Cream said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Zidane said and kissed Cream on her monkey tail. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a terrifying princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Cream," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Zidane said.

"See?" Cream said and showed Zidane the scar from the shoes on her tits. Then she kissed Zidane and they tumbled on the bed and did a lot of very lovely things, some of them involving a hideous monkey tail.

"I love you," Cream said when they were done. Zidane clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Cream had stashed away.

And if Cream didn't know about Zidane's visits to the monkey sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.

Sodomized Love

Cream finished packing. Ever since Fenris, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Cream had been blue.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing sucked her, all was loving. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going on the floor to become a dark dick.

Just then, there was a hideous knock at the door. Cream opened it and stood there amazingly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her lyrium dick.

When Cream came to, Fenris was holding her eye and looking orange. "My love," Fenris said lovingly, "I'm sorry for the aroused shock. I've been shipwrecked on a cum-covered island for the last ten years, living and then she tasted the magic. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my magic dick in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Cream could hardly believe her Fenris had returned. "I will always love you, magic dick or no magic dick. Besides, you can cover it up with a book."

They embraced slowly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was gorgeous.


i am hving too much fun with this

The Adventure Of The Geromy

Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff were out for a quer Valentine's walk at Subway. As they went, Hella Jeff rested his hand on Sweet Bro's mouth. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so luki, Sweet Bro was filled with rump dread.

"Do you suppose it's ded here?" he asked hapliy.

"You big silly," Hella Jeff said, tickling Sweet Bro with his stairs. "It's completely phat."

Just then, a gey Geromy leapt out from behind a video games and falled Hella Jeff in the eyes. "Aaargh!" Hella Jeff screamed.

Things looked plump. But Sweet Bro, although he was hapi, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a hot god and, like John Egbert after watching Con Air for two days without any breaks, beat the Geromy srsly until it ran off. "That will teach you to fall innocent people."

Then he clasped Hella Jeff close. Hella Jeff was bleeding snoply. "My darling," Sweet Bro said, and pressed his lips to Hella Jeff's nose.

"I love you," Hella Jeff said stairsly, and expired in Sweet Bro's arms.

Sweet Bro never loved again.

I'm Dreaming Of A Fat Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Hoodsie sat retardedly on the moon, sipping super gay eggnog.

He looked at the homosexual Vix's legs hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Chris had hung it there, just before they looked at each other gayly and then fell into each other's arms and kissed each other's penis.

If only I hadn't been so stupid, Hoodsie thought, pouring a really gay amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Chris might not have got so speedy and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a happy tear and held his leg in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a faggot voice lifted mishly up in song.



I'm dreaming of a fat Christmas

Just like you



Hoodsie ran to the door. It was Chris, looking gay all over with snow.

"I missed you fucking retardedly," Chris said. "And I wanted to kiss your penis again."

Hoodsie hugged Chris and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Chris said.

"I think so too," Hoodsie said and they kissed each other's penis until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted doggy arm and lived stupidly until Hoodsie got drunk again.

The Battle For The Kingdar

On Kingdar, Kingdar kingdared her kingdar. She had been busy with the kingdar for hours and now wanted nothing more than a kingdar cuddle or a kingdar massage from her lover Kingdar.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her kingdar Kingdar appeared at the door, grinning kingdarly.

"Put down the kingdar," Kingdar said kingdarly. "Unless you want me to kingdar that kingdar on your kingdar."

Kingdar put down the kingdar. She was kingdar. She had never seen Kingdar so kingdar before and it made her kingdar.

Kingdar picked up the kingdar, then withdrew a kingdar from her kingdar. "Don't be so kingdar," Kingdar said with a kingdar grimace. "A Kingdar bit my kingdar this morning, and everything became kingdar. Now with this kingdar and this kingdar I can kingdarly rule the world!"

Kingdar clutched her kingdar kingdar kingdarly. This was her lover, her kingdar Kingdar, now staring at her with a kingdar kingdar.

"Fight it!" Kingdar shouted. "The Kingdar just wants the kingdar for his own kingdar devices! He doesn't love you, not the kingdar way I do!"

Kingdar could see Kingdar trembling kingdarly. Kingdar reached out her kingdar and touched Kingdar's kingdar kingdarly. She was kingdar, so kingdar, but she knew only her kingdar love for Kingdar would break the Kingdar's spell.

Sure enough, Kingdar dropped the kingdar with a thunk. "Oh, Kingdar," she squealed. "I'm so kingdar, can you ever forgive me?"

But Kingdar had already moved on Kingdar. Like Kingdar, she pressed her kingdar into Kingdar's kingdar. And as they fell together in a kingdar fit of love, the kingdar lay on the floor, kingdar and forgotten.

Stupidly Tripping

Aurion tripped along sexily. He was on his way to meet his lover, Acid, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a gazelle hopping along, carrying a star in its mouth.

Aurion was almost in a cloud when he came across a cold cake, lying alone on a stupid plate. "That must be a treat from my beautiful bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked gay, so he ate it.

It gave him the most fuzzy tingling sensation in his dick. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Acid.

When Acid came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Aurion cried saucily.

"Your eye! And your leg!" Acid said. "They're hollow! Can't you feel it?"

Aurion felt his eye and his leg. They were indeed quite hollow. "Oh, no!" Aurion said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that cold cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Acid said. "I got you a cat ears. It must have been that dumb man who lives nearby. He acts a little flirtatiously, ever since he fucked a sweater."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Aurion sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Acid said quietly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your eye is really funny like that."

"Really?" Aurion dried her tears. Aurion kissed Acid and it was an entirely shiny sensation, like a stupid cunt.

They spent the night having entirely shiny sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.