Once upon a time, there was a magical kingdom, where magical sparkling glittery buff unicorns flew around and non-disease carrying and friendly mice sung and beautiful princesses were whooshed off their pretty slippered feet by dazzling romantic princes with Colgate smiles. Everyone in this kingdom was healthy and happy, and could dance like professionals. The reason they were so happy and healthy and such good dancers, was because of the Superawesomeepic fruit. However, this fruit only grew in bushels of thirty, once a year. So the blooming of Superawesomepic fruit was a whole festival. Also, because of this, people weren't allowed to have a lot of babies. Otherwise, they might not have enough superawesomeepic fruit for the newborn children, and everyone would not be superawesomeepic.
However, there were peasants outside the kingdom, who were not superawesomeepic. They were stupidmeanjerks. The stupidmeanjerks did not need fruit to be stupidmeanjerks, they were that all on their own. Also, they smelled bad.
One day, a stupidmeanjerk peasant came up with an
EVIL SCHEME!He would pretend to be a superawesomeepic person, and say he had come up with a superawesomeepic chemical that would make superawesomeepic fruit grow in bushels of 100, every day. But it would also kill everyone who ate it!
So the stupidmeanjerk guy worked day and night, as hard as he could, for three weeks, on the chemical. Then for eight weeks after, he learned to dance. Then he made some superawesomeepic clothes he could wear. He almost worked as hard as an ultimatelysmartdilligent person (but that's another story)!
He also bought some perfume.
He did all this, not just for a disguise, but to pass all the tests that the superawesomeepic people had to get into their castle.
So, all dressed up in his disguise, he went to the castle. Two guards, guarding the bridge, asked him what he was doing. “I have come to show the Kingdar my formula!” he said. His name was Larry, which, by kingdom standards, was not a superawesomeepic name. So when the guards asked his name, he lied and said 'Fernando'. They congratulated him and let him cross the bridge.
Then, he came to the dance hall. The guards there told him it was disco fever night, and so, Larry, who was under the name of Fernando, did lots of disco dances. The guards let him pass, then resumed their dancing.
The next challenge, was to ride the Epic Unicorn. Larry/Fernando panicked a little, because he didn't know about this. But the guards were having trouble with the Epic Unicorn today, as he wasn't in an epic mood. So Larry/Fernando had to ride the Okay Unicorn, which he was okay at. So they let him pass.
Finally, Larry/Fernando came to the Kingdar. “Your superawesomeepic majesty, I am Fernando, and I have discovered a superawesomeepic chemical that will make the superawesomeepic fruit grow in bushels of 100, every day!” Larry/Fernando said with a bow. The superawesomeepic Kingdar, who's name was Kit, said: “Oh really?”
“Yes really!” Fernando said.
“Okay,” said Kit.
So, the next evening, the chemical was spread on the superawesomeepic tree. But the chemical had a major flaw. It attracted the singing mice!
So, the mice, singing random songs, came and ate all the superawesomeepic fruits. Then they turned into elephants and ran away from the kingdom, never to be seen again. Also, they couldn't sing anymore, and they weren't very friendly.
So the Kingdar, who had let Larry/Fernando stay in a hotel, saw that all the fruit was gone. Also, the mice. “There are no songs to be heard on this glorious day!” the superawesomeepic Queen, Vixetra, said to Kit.
“Yes, my love, I am aware of that,” he said sadly.
So Kit went to the hotel, and if he were a stupidmeanjerk, he would've beat the crap out of Larry/Fernando. But he wasn't, so in the nicest way possible, he told Larry/Fernando that his chemical had epically failed. “... Oh,” Larry/Fernando said. “Well, I'll go fix it.”
So he took the bit of chemical that had been saved, and added some stuff. He was sure it would work this time, and would do what had to be done.
So he gave it to the Kingdar, who gave it to the gardener (his name was Gorden Freeman), who put it on the superawesomeepic tree.
So, that night, the Unicorns came and were attracted to the fruit. So they ate the hundred bushels, then turned into evil quacking moose who had sticks for ears and ran away. They also didn't sparkle or glitter or anything fun like that.
The next day, queen Vixetra was distressed. “There are no more beautiful unicorns that make the sky shimmer!” she cried. Kit was even more upset. So he kindly told Larry/Fernando that this was his last chance to do anything.
Bent on killing all the superawesomeepic people, Larry/Fernando re-made the formula. This time, he was sure it would work.
So, once again, Gorden Freeman spread it on the tree.
This time, the chemical worked! There was lots and lots of superawesomeepic fruit. Larry/Fernando was so happy, and he fled back to stupidmeanjerk land so all the superawesomeepic people wouldn't insist he have fruit.
But, Kit, who was as generous as he was epic, decided to give the first harvest of fruit to the stupidmeanjerk people. Everyone in the kingdom agreed, because they were all really nice.
But Larry didn't have time to tell anyone of his
EVIL SCHEME!Beforehand, so the stupidmeanjerk people took all the fruit they could get. And then they all turned purple and burrowed underground and became Mole People, who were really quite nice. Except for Larry, who was still a stupidmeanjerk, but he got trampled by a herd of quaking evil moose with sticks for ears.
The next day, the Kingdar was told by his special talking crow, that all the stupidmeanjerk people were noe mole people. Kit, upset that the kingdom had been fooled, had to grow a whole new superawesomeepic tree, because the one they had wasn't safe. So they sent it to law school, and it became a famous lawyer, who could've saved even OJ Simpson. But it didn't.
But the kingdom no longer had glittering unicorn skies, nor was it filled with music of the singing mice. Instead, there was a sign outside the kingdom's door, that said: DON'T PANIC, GROW ORGANIC!'
And everyone who read it, did. The moral of the story is: ... Well, it was mentioned already. Grow organic. Even if there isn't enough superawesomeepic fruit for everyone, it's better then turning into a mole person.
THE END.
Yes I did submit this as my final summative
Subject: LOOK AT IT 
Wed Jun 17, 2009 5:06 am
