dudedudeee.
i'm back.
semi-perma, now! yaayyy.
see, i was computer banned so i could only sneak on.
now i'm unbanned. 8DD!
so.
my life.
has changed.
.. pretty drastically.
kind of.
.. for the worst.
for the mot part.
kso.
'splain:
- i had the play from like december till last weekend. and it was the best -insert number of days here- of my entire life. you guys have no idea. things at home kept getting worse & worse, and play practice was my escape. ... from everything. and now its over so i'm kind of stuck in a hellhole right now.
- the guy i like(d) was in the play. he was in 7th grade. and he was like sklhdsk awesome. right? so i found out that sadie, brittany AND amber all liked him. and then just on like wednesday i was texting him and he tells me he likes amber. fuck. fuck. fuck.
- FUCKING CONNOR. JESUS ALMIGHTY. this one deserves its own fucking topic. amber's old boyfriend. he used to be my friend. he's a compleeeeeete asshole. also in 7th grade, mind you. he was ok at first, then he fucking grabsa a sharpie and drew on my WHOLE FUCKING ARM. i was grounded till the end of may but my mom decided to let it end since it wasnt entirely my fault. and btw, amber didnt even tell him to stop. fuck.
then, he kept making these gay-ass 'allie and ryan (7th grader who i like(d)) are a hot couple' jokes. and they pissed me and ryan off. so then i finally told him off. then he apologized, and fuckfuckfuck. etc. so then i kind of guess he gained my trust back, so i told him i kind of had a thing for ryan. the exact text i sent him:
"i kind of like ryan. BUT DONT TELL HIM." then he was all "ok i promise. i wont. trust me." then, jesusfuckingchrist, guess what. he tells him. and then so its not like i could lie to ryan. and so i admitted that i kind of liked him and then that was the same day he told me he liked amber. fuck.
then. so. today. i told him off. i was like 'do you realize that you are making this piece of shit that is my life twenty times worse for me?' and he was just like 'idk?' and i was like 'well fuck you. you dont even understand how much of a douchebag you are. seriously. you have no fucking clue.' then he was like, 'you know there's a rule thats like treat others the way that you want to be treated.' and i was like 'well, fuck, then why dont you live by it?'
he didnt reply. then i was like 'i bet twenty dollars you have no idea who ryan likes. i do. :D' and he was all 'pleeeeease tell meee! truce?' and i was like 'fuck. hell naw.'. he still thinks imma call it a truce. i'll probably be dead before i do.
amber and connor broke up about a week ago. and thats when amber told me she liked ryan, jsyk.
- i've been crying. a lot more. i hate it. i take walks everyday when i get home from school just so i dont have to hear myself like i do when im in school. its horrible. i kind of thought that my life was going better during the play and everything, then when i came back to reality, everything fucking hit me like a ton of bricks. i dont know if half of you know, but i used to cut myself. and in the past week ive kind of started again. butyeah.
- i also got suspended a while back, i think i might have mentioned it. i sent a 'rude' email to one of my teachers and mr smallpecker- i mean fudgepacker- i mean SALPECK suspended me. fuck. :/
- so yea. my life's been hell.
& ive also been abusing caps. so.
.. deal.
and the shamwow guy got his tounge bitten off?
Subject: AAAHHHHHHHHH 
Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:15 am
