BAND STORIES (Shit that goes on during class, man)

SINCE SO MANY OF THESE STORIES HAPPEN, I'LL JUST POST THEM HERE. >:(

This is from earlier today which I posted in the CB:

[14:42:04] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Band was a free day, which is always epic
[14:42:20] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : And we got our forms for our physicals
[14:42:29] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Since we have to get one done before we can do band or any sport
[14:42:49] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : And we were joking around saying Mike had to fill out the "female only" part of it
[14:43:02] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: SO WHEN WAS YOUR LAST MENSTRUAL PERIOD?
[14:43:14] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: I dunno, prolly like two months ago. wat

[14:43:21] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: ...so you're pregnant?
[14:43:33] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: ....WHAT? I'M PREGNANT? NOTHING

[14:43:47] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: That or you came so much that you came part of your testicles.
[14:43:48] @ Hug a Spider : oh god i lol'd so hard
[14:43:57] @ Hug a Spider : dude i'm gonna move to naples or something
[14:44:05] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: That sounds painful :c
[14:44:21] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: No shit, moron. Now bend over so I can examine you. -grabby hands-
[14:44:38] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: Ooh, okay. ;D
[14:44:46] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: ....I'M LEAVING NOW KTHX.
[14:45:11] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: WHY? You know you want to examine me too. ;D
[14:45:32] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: ....no. Robert wants to. Maybe he can deliver that mutant freak BABBY thing you're carrying.
[14:45:55] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: I'm not delivering a man-BABBY. you suck.

[14:46:12] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: Yes you ar-- HOLYSHIT MIKE YOUR WATER BROKE. NOTHING

[14:46:20] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: WHAT? NOTHING

[14:46:35] @ Hug a Spider : OH GOD I LOVE YOUR FRIENDS $You lol\\\\'d? OR$
[14:46:35] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: Godfuckingdammit, BRB GETTING PAPER TOWELLS.
[14:46:54] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: WHAT'S GOING ON? NOTHING

[14:46:59] @ Hug a Spider : 8537 <--- yesss pokewaler
[14:47:08] @ Hug a Spider : *pokewalker
[14:47:16] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: YOU'RE GOING INTO LABOR. GET DOWN AND PUT YOUR LEGS UP AND PREPARE FOR YOUR MAN BABBY TO EAT ITS WAY THROUGH YOUR PENIS.
[14:47:23] Riddler has joined the chat on Wed 21 Apr - 14:47
[14:47:39] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: OKAY SO I D-- WAIT WHAT!? I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. NOTHING

[14:47:45] @ Riddler : sup
[14:47:49] @ Riddler : and lol /wut/
[14:47:54] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: SHOULD'VE USED CONTRACEPTION YOU IDIOT.
[14:48:03] @ Hug a Spider : oh god ro I can breath
[14:48:07] @ Hug a Spider : *breathe
[14:48:08] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : (Scroll up and read @ allie lol)
[14:48:10] @ Hug a Spider : ALLIE :D
[14:48:18] @ Riddler : CREAM
[14:48:21] @ Riddler : and lol k @ ro
[14:48:21] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: THERE'S NO CONDOMS FOR PENIS IN PENIS ACTION NOTHING

[14:48:33] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: WELL YOU SHOU-- WAIT WHAT!?
[14:48:44] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: .........
[14:49:04] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: THAT'S RIGHT. NOTHING

[14:49:16] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: ....I don't even know how to reply to that.
[14:49:34] @ Hug a Spider : ...penis in penis
[14:49:43] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: Me neit-- HOLYFUCK THE MAN BABBY IS CROWNING. NOTHING

[14:49:55] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: WHAT? WHY CAN'T I FEEL ANYTHING? NOTHING

[14:50:26] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: You won't yet. But when that thing starts eating its way through your penis, IT'S GONNA HURT.
[14:50:41] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: ....WHY IS THERE BLUE FLUID? BAND STORIES (Shit that goes on during class, man) 595728

[14:50:55] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: BLUE FLUID WHAT? BAND STORIES (Shit that goes on during class, man) 595728

[14:51:07] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT ON MY PENIS
[14:51:45] @ Hug a Spider : ....OH GOD $You lol\\\\'d? OR$
[14:51:51] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: It's a manbaby starting to nibble on your penis. That fluid is....well I'm not really sure
[14:51:55] @ Riddler : $You lol\\\\'d? OR$ @ all of this
[14:51:56] @ Riddler : @also
[14:52:04] @ Riddler : why am I getting only zubats <--- BECAUSE THEY'RE EVERYWHERE
[14:52:21] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: That fluid is his period . you suck.

[14:52:36] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: TOO SOON, MAN. TOO SOON. NOTHING

[14:53:00] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: -dying of lol- WAIT SHIT HERE IT COMES
[14:53:13] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: PREPARE TO CATCH IT AFTER IT LAUNCHES ITSELF FROM HIS PENIS
[14:53:35] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA UGH
[14:53:51] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: -is holding a lunchbox- ....the fuck is this shit
[14:54:16] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: ...it appears that he gave birth to a lunchbox. you suck.

[14:54:29] @ Hug a Spider : fucking zub---------- OH MY GOD I LOL'D
[14:54:32] @ Hug a Spider : epic day
[14:54:48] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: -panting- GIVE ME MY BABBY RAEG

[14:55:03] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: IT'S NOT A BABBY. IT'S A.....LUNCHBOX. NOTHING

[14:55:15] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: ....how the FUCK did you get pregnant from a lunchbox.
[14:55:30] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: HEY MAN, DON'T JUDGE ME. I LOVE HIS MOM. I REALLY DO. NOTHING

[14:55:49] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: ....you mean dad
[14:56:01] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: Yeah this WTF?

[14:56:24] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: WELL, IT'S AN INTERESTING STORY...IT'S KINDA LIKE THAT FAIRLY ODDPARENTS MOVIE WITH THE BABBY AND STUFF.
[14:56:35] @ Hug a Spider : ...oh god
[14:56:38] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: At least he didn't fuck a lunchbox.

[14:56:39] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : WTF?

*
[14:56:40] @ Hug a Spider : i am loling so hard
[14:56:42] @ Hug a Spider : xDDDD
[14:56:55] @ Hug a Spider : you have to post this on a thread or something
[14:57:19] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: ...hey I found out where that blue fluid is coming from. It's the gatorade IN the BABBY
[14:57:35] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: .....YOU KILLED IT YOU BITCH. YOU DISSECTED IT AND TOOK OUT ITS STOMACH ACID. NOTHING

[14:58:00] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Robert: We are sorry for your loss, but we did it for science. you suck.

[14:58:25] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Me: Yes, for SCIENCE. AWESOME

[14:58:35] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : Mike: ....my BABBY :c
[14:58:50] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : And about that time the bell rang
[14:58:54] @ Ro Ro Ro Your Boat : So /end story

Hug a Spider wrote:: $You lol\\\\'d? OR$

Man I gotta start posting some of these too. wat

...When I'm not feeling so lazy.

Zanarkand wrote:: Man I gotta start posting some of these too.
...When I'm not feeling so lazy.

Yes, please do. BAND STORIES (Shit that goes on during class, man) 605698

THIS ONE ISN'T AS FUNNY, BUT OH WELL.

----

So today we were giving our tryout papers for next year.
There's two band classes we could get into: Symphonic or Wind Ensemble.
Think of W.E. as AP Band.
And to get into that, we had to play a prepared piece that was printed on a piece of paper. It was INSANE music. I couldn't play it if I tried. WHYYYYYYY OTL

So after all the papers were handed out, Mr.D played all of them so we could see how they sounded and stuff.
...Let's just say I'm not getting into W.E. anytime soon.
So he plays the flute part, and for those who are in/were in band, you know the flutes are fucking show offs. Especially the azns.

So afterwards, this one azn-flute-chick raises her hand and asks if she can play it. And Mr. D is like, "Okay sure. idklol

"

SHE PLAYED IT BETTER THAN MR. D DID.

And all of us are just staring at her like, "R U FUCKING SRS".

So she finishes up, and asks how she did.
Mr. D is just like, " BAND STORIES (Shit that goes on during class, man) 595728

YOU DID GREAT."

Here's the comments from all my trumpet buddies:

Jake: The fuck is THIS shit?
Chris: ........Fuck my life.
Tasha: ....she used to be my friend. NOW I FUCKING HATE HER. RAEG

Mike: ...you have to be shitting me. Like srs. WTF?

Me: HAX. FUCKING AZN HAX. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Weston: Fucking azns. face+palm

Peter: -sleeping-
Emma: -claps- That was....impressive? o3o
Jack: ....I really suck. WHYYYYYYY OTL

SO YEAH.

K SO.
We had an assembly today. And some of us band kids didn't feel like going. So we do what any normal band kids would do: Reenact World War II.

THE TEAMS:
Good ol' America: Jared, Matt, Marissa, and Jordan.

The Nazis: Me, Mongoose, Fronk, and Megan.

THE STORY:
America had a blockade set up (consisting of several chairs, stands, and a tuba or two), and was preventing us Nazis from getting to our goal: Mr. Jack's office.
Meanwhile, us Nazis had our own blockade set up (consisting of several tuba cases, a string bass, a file cabinet, and a cardboard box) preventing them Americans from getting to their goal: the instrument room.

And thus.... WAR!

It starts out like you would imagine, lots and lots of shooting at each other. We had slingshots, catapults, opened water bottles, we even threw over a few oboes. Saxophones were used as shoulder-mounted cannons, trumpets were shotguns, trombones were bazookas, and tubas were missile launchers. It. Was. Epic.

Team Nazi decides to make a break for it, we send Fronk over armed with a bazooka and stand-shield. He charges their base and.... is blown up by a missile. MAN DOWN!
Mongoose, filled with rage at his comrades death, charges the American base unarmed while yelling "YOU CAN TAKE OUR LAND, BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!" He strangles Matt and dropkicks Marissa. Two down. He heads for Jared, armed with the shotgun he took from Matt, but sadly is taken out by a cannonball to the face.

Both sides are down to two people. The air is tense. Someone has to make a break for it, but who? I turn to Megan and we think of a plan. She rushes their base, hops over a stand, and shoots Jared in the face. She instantly drops down to avoid being shot at by Jordan, then points her tumpet up at Jordan at the same time Jordan points hers down at Megan. They both die at the same time. And I'm left, all alone, to claim Mr. Jack's office. I slowly march over... saluting my fallen comrades as I pass. I plant out flag on the desk and give a final salute.

"It was a long fight, friends. But we did it. We showed those motherfuckers."

EPIC WIN.

"trumpets were shotguns" <-- YES

EPIC WIN.

ALL RIGHT, TWO THINGS HAPPENED TODAY.
One was in class, the other was at after school practice for a concert we're having next week.

The in-class one:

Nevon: Hey Tonya, I thought of something. BAND STORIES (Shit that goes on during class, man) 605698

Me: Orly?

Nevon: Yeah. A human burger is equivalent to a cow eating a hamburger.
Me: .... wat

Nevon: Like if I was to make a burger out of Blav-beetch(what he calls Mike) and cook him, put him in between two buns, and made you eat it, it'd be like feeding a hamburger to a cow.
Me: ... why would I be eating that? wat

Nevon:

Me: Well uh...I'm gonna go d--
Nevon: WAIT. WAIT. WHAT IF I. PUT SHAVINGS OF CHEESE ON THE HUMAN BURGER.
Me: ....no.
Nevon: How about shavings of God's nut sack?
Me: .... WTF?

Nevon: Nonono, I'll make some of those, but instead, get uranium and shave it. Then I'll market it by calling it God's Nutsack Burgers and sell it in South Carolina. They'll eat those fuckers up.
Me: .... face+palm

Nevon: Ooh, I thought of some more ingredients.
Me: Ohhh god... face+palm

Nevon: There will beeeeee.... mold, vagina, bacon, pieces of steak, some mayo, more vagina, and actual shavings of God's nutsack.
Me: The fuck man. Seriously. WTF?

Nevon:

Yeah...so now Nevon's selling the
THE BLAV-BEETCH CHEESBURGER WITHuraniumGOD'S NUTSACK SHAVINGS TOPPED WITH CHUNKS OF VAGINA AND STEAK, ALONG WITH MAYO AND MORE VAGINA.

----------------------

Next one was after school with of course, NEVON.

Me: Hey Nevon, someone told me that a woodblock instrument thing is a cockblock. Care to elaborate?
Nevon: Well tis very simple, my female friend. You see, if you look at the word COCKBLOCK, you see the words 'cock' and 'block'. A cock is well, a penis. The thing that gets blocked from a vagina by an asshole named YOUR FRIEND. A block is what your idiot for a friend is. He blocked that sweet, sweet vagina away from you.
Me: -nodding- Go on.
Nevon: Now if you look at the word WOODBLOCK, you see the words 'wood' and 'block'. Wood can have....very different definitions. The one your friend was referring to was I don't know.... A BONER. So in other words, a cock. Or a penis. Whatever the fuck you want to call it. And if you look at the word block, it means the same thing as block in cockblock.
Me: Well then. I guess he was right.
Nevon: Yes ma'am he was. SO THERE YA GO. LULZWUT

I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE AT BOTH OF THESE, MKAY.

ALLRIGHT. I FORGOT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY, SO I'M DOING SO NOW.

So there was just 5 trumpets that day. It was sad.
Anyhow, it was just me and Weston in one corner and Mike, Tasha, and Jake to the side. And Weston's on his itouch looking up stuff.

Me: You're looking up more Megan Fox porn aren't you. you suck.

Weston: ....no >.>;
Me: Then you're looking up normal porn. you suck.

Weston: Nah, I'm just checking my mail.

And about this time, Mr.D told us what the dress is for Band Night this Friday. For girls you can wear a dress or blouse w/black pants. Not going with dress kthx. Anyways, Weston starts talking about how he hopes "someone" is going to wear the same dress she did for MBA.

Weston: Yessss excited you

Me: ...

Weston: Titstitstitstitstitstits excited you

Me: What is it with you and tits? WTF?

Weston: Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits excited you

Me: Whose tits?
Weston: ASHLE-- you heard nothing at all. NOTHING

Me: ....Ashley?
Weston: NOTHING

Me: -looks at her- .... she barely has tits. The fuck are you obsessing over. WTF?

Weston: Butbutbut THEY'RE BEAUTIF-- why the fuck am I telling you this. face+palm

Me: Cause you're prolly getting a boner and will say anything. WTF?

Weston: ....SHUTUP. NOTHING

Me: ....tits.
Weston: I WANT ASHLEY'S. NOTHING

Me: .... told ya. c:
Weston: YOU SUCK. NOTHING

Me: You wish she'd suck you. c:
Weston: ..... @.@
Me: You just came didn't you.
Weston: ....I wish....in her mouth. >.>
Me: Or on her tits.
Weston: ....yeah that works too.

And this whole time we're trying not to laugh to where Mr.D would yell at us.
And Weston's like, "OH GOD MY JEANS ARE HURTING MEEEEEE NOTHING

" and I squeaked cause I was laughing so hard.

Mike: ....why are you guys laughing so hard?
Me: NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.
Weston: SHUTUP MIKE. YOU HEARD NOTHING. NOTHING

Mike: ..... k

And so Mr.D's like, "OKAY GUYS YOU CAN GO PUT YOUR STUFF AWAY."

Weston: .....fuck I can't get up. NOTHING

Me: ...wh- BAHAHA.
Weston: SHUTUP. NOTHING

Me: Well, even if you were to get up, no one would see it cause it's so small. AWESOME

Weston: ....fine, I'll get up and PROVE IT.

So he gets up and looks down.
There was no bulge at all, and he's just like, "DAMMIT. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

I was dying of lol so hard, that I almost fell over.

IT WAS A "YOU HAD TO BE THERE" THING, K.

ROSINATOR wrote:: Weston: .....fuck I can't get up.
Me: ...wh- BAHAHA.

GIRLS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LAUGH AT THIS BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FUCKING ANNOYING IT IS WHEN YOU GO TO STAND UP AND THERE'S A THING POKING OUT OF YOUR PANTS. RAEG

also inb4jokesaboutme

TEEEEEEHEEEEEE AWESOME

Totally glad I made this thread.

Still brings epic lulz. FUCK YEAH SEAKING

Token Alligator wrote:: Totally glad I made this thread.

Still brings epic lulz.

>epic lulz

Token Alligator wrote:: Totally glad I made this thread.

Still brings epic lulz.

This.

Also.
BAND CAMP MOTHERFUCKERS.
IT'S HAPPENING.
And it's my second senior year so I get two slaves. |D
There will be all sorts of stories up here when I get back.

Koki Kariya wrote:

Token Alligator wrote:: Totally glad I made this thread.

Still brings epic lulz.

This.

Also.
BAND CAMP MOTHERFUCKERS.
IT'S HAPPENING.
And it's my second senior year so I get two slaves. |D
There will be all sorts of stories up here when I get back.

Lol, Bacon has like 7 slaves.
But they were unwanted slaves.
So he didn't gain that much.

But this year, I GET MY OWN ~~slave~~ FRESHMAN. omgyey

god please strike me now with lightning

hey ro the last post in this thread besides the one you made today was almost exactly 2 years ago

And hey guys I really miss you all :/ I know I've said it in like a few other threads, I needa find you all wherever you are..... I wondered why my life got so boring.... Well it's because I don't have you all to talk to anymore. I can't stand this shit. I can't even get ahold of Chris and he lives in the same city as me :/

» HOLY SHIT HOOOOOLLLLYYYY SHIT HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS HOLY SHIT
» WTF IS THIS SHIT
» TITS ASS SHIT
» THIS SHIT IS BANANAS
» THIS SHIT IS FUNNIER THAN ME.