PUZZLING QUESTIONS

ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS FAGGOTS.

1) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?




2) Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?




3) Why does a round pizza come in a square box?




4) What disease did cured ham actually have?




5) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?




6) Why is it that people say they 'slept like a BABBY' when babies wake up like every two hours?




7) If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?




8) Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?




9) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?




10) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?




11) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?




12) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?




13) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is BABBY oil made from?




14) Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?




15) Why did you just try singing the two songs above?




16) Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?




17) Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?




18) Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?




20) Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?




21) Why didn't you notice I missed #19?




22) Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?




23) Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?




24) Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?




25) Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?




26) Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

1) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

- Important enough to have been on the news/TV several times before their death.

2) Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

- The extra penny is for taxes. Goes to the government.

3) Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

- Maybe it just feels like it.

4) What disease did cured ham actually have?

- Diabetes.

5) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

- Moon > luggage.

6) Why is it that people say they 'slept like a BABBY' when babies wake up like every two hours?

- Babies will sleep for hours if they've a mind to.

7) If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

- Yes. They aren't gonna change for a minority.

8) Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

- Panties is plural for the same reason pants is.

9) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

- Just in case.

10) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

- Because poor little Jimmy wants people to care. He really does.

11) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

- Because then there'd be no show.

12) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

- See answer to 11.

13) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is BABBY oil made from?

- Babies, obviously.

14) Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

- Yes.

15) Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

- I didn't, I've known that for years.

16) Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

- Frustration.

17) Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

- We want to keep it somewhat civilized.

18) Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

- Same reason he has no underarm hair.

20) Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

- Because he can.

21) Why didn't you notice I missed #19?

- I did notice. Way to jump to conclusions.

22) Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

- Whoever it was, they were fucking hilarious.

23) Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

- No there is not.

24) Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

- Because if we don't have hope, then what do we have, dammit?

25) Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

- Because maybe this time, it'll work.

26) Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

- It's all a conspiracy.

1) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
because i live in AMERICA



2) Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
because i live in AMERICA



3) Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
because i live in AMERICA




4) What disease did cured ham actually have?
because i live in AMERICA




5) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
because i live in AMERICA




6) Why is it that people say they 'slept like a BABBY' when babies wake up like every two hours?
because i live in AMERICA




7) If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
because i live in AMERICA




8) Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
because i live in AMERICA




9) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
because i live in AMERICA




10) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
because i live in AMERICA




11) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
because i live in AMERICA




12) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
because i live in AMERICA




13) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is BABBY oil made from?
because i live in AMERICA




14) Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
because i live in AMERICA




15) Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
because i live in AMERICA




16) Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
because i live in AMERICA




17) Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
because i live in AMERICA




18) Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
because i live in AMERICA




20) Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
because i live in AMERICA




21) Why didn't you notice I missed #19?
because i live in AMERICA




22) Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
because i live in AMERICA




23) Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
because i live in AMERICA




24) Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
because i live in AMERICA




25) Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
because i live in AMERICA




26) Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
because i live in AMERICA

tl;dr

I agree with all of Allie's answers.

1) How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

they gotta get laid that's for sure


2) Why do
you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your
thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

my wallet


3)
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

why is there no bra for your ass


4)
What disease did cured ham actually have?

american


5) How
is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?

cause that was before we all became lazy niggers


6) Why is it
that people say they 'slept like a BABBY' when babies wake up like every
two hours?

cause by sleeping they mean have sex and babies don't have sex so they're saying they're a virginfag


7) If a deaf person has to go to
court, is it still called a hearing?

no it's called a 'WOW YOU'RE DEAF WHY DO YOU NEED THE RENT MONEY IN THE FIRST PLACE'


8) Why is
'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

less bras is better


9) Why do
toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

it's good with some pills actually


10) If
Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?

that's eminem for you


11) If the professor on Gilligan's Island
can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

CAUSE IT'S COOLER


12) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all
that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

he has a secret crush on the roadrunner RULE 34 GET


13)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is BABBY oil made from?

okay now this is just


14) Do
the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

DUH

G-Q-T-D-6-L-H

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

SAME SHIT

15) Why did you just try singing the two songs
above?

TO ANSWER THE QUESTION


16) Why do we press harder on a remote
control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

well i don't ever know i just get pissed at the remote


17)
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

you never know maybe they know how to cheat death


18) Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

photoshop


20)
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

the revolver is made of kryptonite


21) Why didn't you notice I
missed #19?

why wouldn't i


22) Whose idea was it to put an 'S'
in the word 'lisp'?




23) Is there ever a day that
mattresses are not on sale?

well damn this one got me


24) Why do people
constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to
eat will have materialized?

that's what women are for


25) Why do people
keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?

that's what she said


26) Why is it that no plastic
bag will open from the end on your first try?

i didn't get this question

Prince(ss) the Ripper wrote:

I agree with all of Allie's answers.

YEAAAH YOU DO :D

Dear god @ Roy

1) How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

They need to steal something from the government first.



2) Why do
you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your
thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Cause I'm cheap? idk


3)
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?




4)
What disease did cured ham actually have?

SQUARES ARE EASIER TO DRAW.


5) How
is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?

IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS, YOU ACTUALLY CARRY YOUR OWN WEIGHT. >(


6) Why is it
that people say they 'slept like a BABBY' when babies wake up like every
two hours?

Cause if they cry for a long time they get tired? IDK. STOP ASKING ME!


7) If a deaf person has to go to
court, is it still called a hearing?

YES. NOBODY CARES FOR THAT SINGLE PERSON. :c


8) Why is
'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

I DON'T GET IT.


9) Why do
toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

I can feed it someone I hate.


10) If
Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?

..


11) If the professor on Gilligan's Island
can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

CAUSE YOU PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT AND DRINK IT ALL UP.


12) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all
that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

THEY DON'T HAVE BIRD?


13)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is BABBY oil made from?

BABBY.


14) Do
the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Yes.


15) Why did you just try singing the two songs
above?

I didn't. D: I ALREADY KNOW THIS.


16) Why do we press harder on a remote
control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

CAUSE IT FUCKING WORKS.


17)
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

THEY DON'T WANT INFECTIONS. INFECTIONS ARE HORRIBLE.


18) Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

HE PLUCKS THEM.


20)
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

A BULLET IS SMALL. -shot-


21) Why didn't you notice I
missed #19?

CAUSE I COULD CARE LESS OR I ALREADY KNOW YOU SUCK AT COUNTING.


22) Whose idea was it to put an 'S'
in the word 'lisp'?

I don't know that word.


23) Is there ever a day that
mattresses are not on sale?

NO.


24) Why do people
constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to
eat will have materialized?

FOOD APPEARS. I KNOW IT. MY FAMILY JUST GETS THERE BEFORE ME.


25) Why do people
keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?

THE VACUUM WILL WORK!


26) Why is it that no plastic
bag will open from the end on your first try?

CAUSE I SUCK.

@ all

1) How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

he's gotta give a few important people blowjobs and he's all set



2) Why do
you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your
thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

me. i need the money.


3)
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

the same reason why boxing "rings" are square.


4)
What disease did cured ham actually have?

aids.


5) How
is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?

because they touch BLUE PENIS


6) Why is it
that people say they 'slept like a BABBY' when babies wake up like every
two hours?

they were forming babby


7) If a deaf person has to go to
court, is it still called a hearing?

no it's called a "haha your ears don't work"ing


8) Why is
'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

boner


9) Why do
toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

idk man my toaster sucks it takes three times on the highest setting just to make a toaster strudel


10) If
Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?

because he sucked someone off to make it for him


11) If the professor on Gilligan's Island
can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

they don't have duct tape on an abandoned island silly


12) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all
that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

who said he bought it? he probably sucked an acme employee's dick or something


13)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is BABBY oil made from?

it's really aids juice


14) Do
the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

yes


15) Why did you just try singing the two songs
above?

i didn't i already knew


16) Why do we press harder on a remote
control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

because it's fucking MAGIC


17)
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

for the lulz


18) Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

hairy beaver


20)
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

so he can suck a dick


21) Why didn't you notice I
missed #19?

i did what now


22) Whose idea was it to put an 'S'
in the word 'lisp'?

roy's


23) Is there ever a day that
mattresses are not on sale?

well someone has to help out the condom companies


24) Why do people
constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to
eat will have materialized?

...


25) Why do people
keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?

because the vacuum is magic


26) Why is it that no plastic
bag will open from the end on your first try?

blue PENIS

4 different answers in chris's post are referring to blow jobs
what does this tell you

HE NEEDS COCK NOW.

If you're atheist do you still have to put your hand on the bible?

@Chris

1) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
a lot of people have to know about said person. by a lot i mean at least 100000.



2) Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
it's a conspiracy. the extra penny goes to a man in south-east antarctica who is now a trillionaire in pennies.



3) Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
circleboxes are impractical and have the potential to roll away.



4) What disease did cured ham actually have?
swine flu.



5) How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
wheel-less luggage made everyone more of a MAN. only PUSSIES HAVE WHEELS ON THEIR LUGGAGE.



6) Why is it that people say they 'slept like a BABBY' when babies wake up like every two hours?
because babies sleep when we aren't looking. the cry in their sleep and we think they're awake. they sense when eyes are upon them.



7) If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
yes. the deaf person isn't the only one there.



8) Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
beacuse pants is plural and shirt is singular.



9) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
the indecent ones like it. stop being so inconsiderate.



10) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
people care about people not caring.



11) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
he wanted to have sex with women.



12) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
because pas a certain point, you have to catch that fucking roadrunner, damnit. just to rub it in that bastard's face. the roadrunner is a dick, anyway.



13) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is BABBY oil made from?
babies.



14) Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
yes.



15) Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
haha i didn't.



16) Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
because deep within ever human being is the knowledge that violence makes things work.



17) Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
because it's humane? idk.



18) Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
he shaved. duh.



20) Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
clearly he is not revolver proof.



21) Why didn't you notice I missed #19?
because i didn't look at the numbers.



22) Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
someone mean.



23) Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
yes.



24) Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
i keep thinking that maybe i missed something.



25) Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
i don't even pick it up. i just keep vacuuming.



26) Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
that's what you think.