Chuck Norris Jokes Heeeeere~

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Or else 'he' will be after you.

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

Subject: Re: Chuck Norris Jokes Heeeeere~ Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:31 am

:chucknorrisplz

oooooooooo:

Guest

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Subject: Re: Chuck Norris Jokes Heeeeere~ Thu Apr 03, 2008 2:52 am

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.
........
TWO POC IS ALIVE?
HOLYSH-
Ank: -whacks-

Guest

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite. He bites frost.

Subject: Re: Chuck Norris Jokes Heeeeere~ Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:26 am

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

Subject: Re: Chuck Norris Jokes Heeeeere~ Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:38 am

#
# Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.<---xxxxxDDDD

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.<---Poor naruto...;___;

Subject: Re: Chuck Norris Jokes Heeeeere~ Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:42 am

I just realized something....change the word joke in the title or Chuck Norris will come and kill you guys. He said these aren't jokes, He said they're facts! -shot-

Subject: Re: Chuck Norris Jokes Heeeeere~ Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:56 am

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.<---xxxxDDD

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

Everything King Midas touches turns to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.

Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.

Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.

Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back.

If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul.

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

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I love that site.
XD

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